Yup, It's True

So for those of you who do not know ( I apologize for not calling) me and Matt have broken up. Well I like to refer to it as a divorce because after 4 years of dating/ living together, we were practically married. So it turns out that after living together for that long, feelings change. I guess we were more in the friend zone that anything.

So now I'm moving out of our house and into an apartment with my good buddy and Nov 23rd bday twin Ryan. Well I cant say that it has been easy so far but I guess I kinda noticed the warning signs and none of my efforts were able to prevent this so I should just accept the inevitable. I have started packing and the house is starting to look dull without all of my colourful stuff everywhere. I've been going through a rollercoaster of emotions which has been pretty tiring. Right now I think I am being "accepting" but in a half an hour who knows?

I've been crying off and on mostly thinking of how much I will miss his companionship, his humour and his hugs. He really was my best friend and that is something very difficult to think of walking away from. We are still on good terms (for now, fingers crossed) but I know it wont be long until all my stuff is moved out and that you would never know I ever lived in the house at all. And without anything to remind him of me, he will move on and put me completely in the past with all of the other ex's. That seems like such an awful fate for a relationship that still has a lot of potential and history.

So I guess I'm left trying to start my life from scratch and trying to keep my emotions under wraps. It is definitely going to be a bumpy ride with lots of ups and downs but I have faith in myself that I can be strong enough to overcome all the pain and chaos and get my life back to "normal". I would like to thank everyone for thinking of me and I appreciate all of your concern and well wishing. It definitely helps a lot.